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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

February 11, 2011

Day 18 – A picture of your biggest insecurity

My husband has said before that he doesn’t think he could last an hour, let alone a day inside my head. I’m sometimes afraid to tell him how much more I’m not saying! Today’s post is a challenge for me. I am an insecure person. Most of the time. And I don’t think I could really pick just one thing to be most insecure about.

So, for the sake of posting, I picked my appearance. But really, there are so many things I could say. I don’t like the way I look. I am constantly afraid something is hanging out of my nose or that I’m showing something I don’t want shown. I am scared to stand in front of a room full of adults and talk. I have a fear when I see people whispering or laughing around me that they are talking about/laughing at me. I’m sure some who know me would disagree, but I bluster through a lot of things. It may look like I’m comfortable, however that’s not always the case.

Call me neurotic, irrational, obsessed. I’ve called myself those things, and more. A politically correct term might be self-conscious. That sounds a lot nicer than the others I think. But the problem is that if I am  “self-conscious,” then my mind is not set as it should be.

“If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”  (Colossians 3:2-3)

As I grow up, I begin to see how little value needs to be placed on the things that are causing me insecurity. I am convicted then to set my mind on things above, as I promised to do when I gave my life to the Lord. How can I serve Him wholeheartedly when I am still living with my insecurities. That part of me has died, if I’ll claim it, and I can be hidden in Christ! Which honestly sounds really good to someone who isn’t secure alone in the spotlight.

So, this 40-year-old me is choosing to quit being  “self” conscious. There are things I am still destined to do!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. faerylandmom permalink
    February 11, 2011 10:20 pm

    Which one of us, as women, DON’T struggle with this? We all have our moments. I’ll be praying for you about this one, Marla. And if you ever want to talk about it, I can tell you that I totally get it. Love you…

  2. Marla permalink*
    February 11, 2011 10:25 pm

    Thanks Tiff! I’ll remember that!

  3. believer2009 permalink
    February 12, 2011 11:28 am

    Thank you Marla for sharing your heart with us and encouraging us in Christ. We love you and will be praying you, and Pastor and your family. Cathy Warren

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